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Saturday, October 2, 2010
Sunday, September 5, 2010
jokes n jokes
Boss: Why do you want time off next week?
Employee: To get married
Boss: What stupid woman would marry you?
Employee: Your daughter!
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Employee: To get married
Boss: What stupid woman would marry you?
Employee: Your daughter!
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Thursday, August 26, 2010
jokes n jokes
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
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Tuesday, August 24, 2010
jokes n jokes
A man goes to the doctors and says, "Doctor, I've got this problem, only you've got to promise not to laugh."
The doctor replies, "Of course I won't laugh, that would be thoroughly unprofessional. In over 20 years of being a doctor I've never laughed at a patient."
"OK then," says the man, and he drops his trousers. The doctor is greeted by the sight of the tiniest penis he has ever seen in his life. Unable to control himself, he falls about laughing on the floor. Ten minutes later he is able to struggle up to his feet and wipe the tears from his eyes.
"I'm so sorry," he says to the patient, "I don't know what came over me, I won't let it happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?"
The man looks up at the doctor sadly and says, "It's swollen."
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The doctor replies, "Of course I won't laugh, that would be thoroughly unprofessional. In over 20 years of being a doctor I've never laughed at a patient."
"OK then," says the man, and he drops his trousers. The doctor is greeted by the sight of the tiniest penis he has ever seen in his life. Unable to control himself, he falls about laughing on the floor. Ten minutes later he is able to struggle up to his feet and wipe the tears from his eyes.
"I'm so sorry," he says to the patient, "I don't know what came over me, I won't let it happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?"
The man looks up at the doctor sadly and says, "It's swollen."
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swine flu virus
H1N1/09 virus.
(also called pig influenza, swine flu, hog flu and pig flu) is an infection by any one of several types of swine influenza virus. Swine influenza virus (SIV) or S-OIV (swine-origin influenza virus) is any strain of the influenza family of viruses that is endemic in pigs. As of 2009, the known SIV strains include influenza C and the subtypes of influenza A known as H1N1, H1N2, H3N1, H3N2, and H2N3.
Swine influenza virus is common throughout pig populations worldwide. Transmission of the virus from pigs to humans is not common and does not always lead to human influenza, often resulting only in the production of antibodies in the blood. If transmission does cause human influenza, it is called zoonotic swine flu. People with regular exposure to pigs are at increased risk of swine flu infection. The meat of an infected animal poses no risk of infection when properly cooked.
During the mid-20th century, identification of influenza subtypes became possible, allowing accurate diagnosis of transmission to humans. Since then, only 50 such transmissions have been confirmed. These strains of swine flu rarely pass from human to human. Symptoms of zoonotic swine flu in humans are similar to those of influenza and of influenza-like illness in general, namely chills, fever, sore throat, muscle pains, severe headache, coughing, weakness and general discomfort.
In Aug-2010 World Health Organization declared that swine flu pandemic officially over.
President Ford receives swine flu vaccinationThis new strain appeared to be closely related to the strain involved in the 1918 flu pandemic. Moreover, the ensuing increased surveillance uncovered another strain in circulation in the U.S.: A/Victoria/75 (H3N2) spread simultaneously, also caused illness, and persisted until March. Alarmed public-health officials decided action must be taken to head off another major pandemic, and urged President Gerald Ford that every person in the U.S. be vaccinated for the disease.
The vaccination program was plagued by delays and public relations problems. On October 1, 1976, immunizations began and three senior citizens died soon after receiving their injections. This resulted in a media outcry that linked these deaths to the immunizations, despite the lack of any proof that the vaccine was the cause. According to science writer Patrick Di Justo, however, by the time the truth was known—that the deaths were not proven to be related to the vaccine—it was too late. "The government had long feared mass panic about swine flu—now they feared mass panic about the swine flu vaccinations." This became a strong setback to the program.
There were reports of Guillain-Barré syndrome, a paralyzing neuromuscular disorder, affecting some people who had received swine flu immunizations. Although if a link exists is still not clear, this syndrome may be a rare side-effect of influenza vaccines. As a result, Di Justo writes that "the public refused to trust a government-operated health program that killed old people and crippled young people." In total, 48,161,019 Americans, or just over 22% of the population, had been immunized by the time the National Influenza Immunization Program (NIIP) was effectively halted on December 16, 1976.
Overall, there were 1098 cases of Guillain-Barré Syndrome (GBS) recorded nationwide by CDC surveillance, 532 of which occurred after vaccination and 543 before vaccination. There are about one to two cases of GBS per 100,000 people every year, whether or not people have been vaccinated. The vaccination program seems to have increased this normal risk of developing GBS by about to one extra case per 100,000 vaccinations. The CDC states that most studies on modern influenza vaccines have seen no link with GBS Although one review gives an incidence of about one case per million vaccinations
In the U.S., on April 27, 2009, the FDA issued Emergency Use Authorizations to make available Relenza and Tamiflu antiviral drugs to treat the swine influenza virus in cases for which they are currently unapproved. The agency issued these EUAs to allow treatment of patients younger than the current approval allows and to allow the widespread distribution of the drugs, including by non-licensed volunteers
Swine influenza ;
(also called pig influenza, swine flu, hog flu and pig flu) is an infection by any one of several types of swine influenza virus. Swine influenza virus (SIV) or S-OIV (swine-origin influenza virus) is any strain of the influenza family of viruses that is endemic in pigs. As of 2009, the known SIV strains include influenza C and the subtypes of influenza A known as H1N1, H1N2, H3N1, H3N2, and H2N3.
Swine influenza virus is common throughout pig populations worldwide. Transmission of the virus from pigs to humans is not common and does not always lead to human influenza, often resulting only in the production of antibodies in the blood. If transmission does cause human influenza, it is called zoonotic swine flu. People with regular exposure to pigs are at increased risk of swine flu infection. The meat of an infected animal poses no risk of infection when properly cooked.
During the mid-20th century, identification of influenza subtypes became possible, allowing accurate diagnosis of transmission to humans. Since then, only 50 such transmissions have been confirmed. These strains of swine flu rarely pass from human to human. Symptoms of zoonotic swine flu in humans are similar to those of influenza and of influenza-like illness in general, namely chills, fever, sore throat, muscle pains, severe headache, coughing, weakness and general discomfort.
In Aug-2010 World Health Organization declared that swine flu pandemic officially over.
1918 pandemic in humans
The 1918 flu pandemic in humans was associated with H1N1 and influenza appearing in pigs;this may reflect a zoonosis either from swine to humans, or from humans to swine. Although it is not certain in which direction the virus was transferred, some evidence suggests that, in this case, pigs caught the disease from humans. For instance, swine influenza was only noted as a new disease of pigs in 1918, after the first large outbreaks of influenza amongst people. Although a recent phylogenetic analysis of more recent strains of influenza in humans, birds, and swine suggests that the 1918 outbreak in humans followed a reassortment event within a mammal,[24] the exact origin of the 1918 strain remains elusive It is estimated that anywhere from 50 to 100 million people were killed worldwide.1976 U.S. outbreak
Main article: 1976 swine flu outbreak
On February 5, 1976, in the United States an army recruit at Fort Dix said he felt tired and weak. He died the next day and four of his fellow soldiers were later hospitalized. Two weeks after his death, health officials announced that the cause of death was a new strain of swine flu. The strain, a variant of H1N1, is known as A/New Jersey/1976 (H1N1). It was detected only from January 19 to February 9 and did not spread beyond Fort Dix.
The vaccination program was plagued by delays and public relations problems. On October 1, 1976, immunizations began and three senior citizens died soon after receiving their injections. This resulted in a media outcry that linked these deaths to the immunizations, despite the lack of any proof that the vaccine was the cause. According to science writer Patrick Di Justo, however, by the time the truth was known—that the deaths were not proven to be related to the vaccine—it was too late. "The government had long feared mass panic about swine flu—now they feared mass panic about the swine flu vaccinations." This became a strong setback to the program.
There were reports of Guillain-Barré syndrome, a paralyzing neuromuscular disorder, affecting some people who had received swine flu immunizations. Although if a link exists is still not clear, this syndrome may be a rare side-effect of influenza vaccines. As a result, Di Justo writes that "the public refused to trust a government-operated health program that killed old people and crippled young people." In total, 48,161,019 Americans, or just over 22% of the population, had been immunized by the time the National Influenza Immunization Program (NIIP) was effectively halted on December 16, 1976.
Overall, there were 1098 cases of Guillain-Barré Syndrome (GBS) recorded nationwide by CDC surveillance, 532 of which occurred after vaccination and 543 before vaccination. There are about one to two cases of GBS per 100,000 people every year, whether or not people have been vaccinated. The vaccination program seems to have increased this normal risk of developing GBS by about to one extra case per 100,000 vaccinations. The CDC states that most studies on modern influenza vaccines have seen no link with GBS Although one review gives an incidence of about one case per million vaccinations
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Treatment;
If a person becomes sick with swine flu, antiviral drugs can make the illness milder and make the patient feel better faster. They may also prevent serious flu complications. For treatment, antiviral drugs work best if started soon after getting sick (within 2 days of symptoms). Beside antivirals, supportive care at home or in hospital, focuses on controlling fevers, relieving pain and maintaining fluid balance, as well as identifying and treating any secondary infections or other medical problems. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends the use of Tamiflu (oseltamivir) or Relenza (zanamivir) for the treatment and/or prevention of infection with swine influenza viruses; however, the majority of people infected with the virus make a full recovery without requiring medical attention or antiviral drugs The virus isolates in the 2009 outbreak have been found resistant to amantadine and rimantadine.In the U.S., on April 27, 2009, the FDA issued Emergency Use Authorizations to make available Relenza and Tamiflu antiviral drugs to treat the swine influenza virus in cases for which they are currently unapproved. The agency issued these EUAs to allow treatment of patients younger than the current approval allows and to allow the widespread distribution of the drugs, including by non-licensed volunteers
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